


It's Enough

by flutter



Category: Free!
Genre: Episode: s01e06 Shocking No Breathing, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 14:04:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutter/pseuds/flutter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa helps Rei to shore and wars with the part of himself that wants to lash out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Depiction of what we weren't privy to in episode six of the season.
> 
> Prompts pulled from the August batch of prompts at 365 Writing Prompts... (http://lindajm.hubpages.com/hub/writing-prompts-for-creative-writing-inspiration) to write this: damaged, the confrontation, too much water.

The second you haul the two of you out of the water and onto the shore, you let go of his heaving shoulders and drag yourself several more steps past him. Adrenaline begins to seep from every pore, leaving only weary limbs and trembling muscles. Unable to continue, you give into the legs that wanted to seize up while still several meters from the island, the knees that threatened to buckle under your combined weight. You try not to think about how hard you fought to reach a safe distance from the water that rushed and licked and slapped at the sandy shore, wanting to pull you both back into its depths. Your heart feels like it's pounded its way into your ears, a nauseating thump-thump-thump that reverberates in your head. You briefly consider giving into the wave of blackness as well, tendrils snaking and twisting inside, pleading with you to let it sweep in and consume.

A soft groan and scrape of sand sounds out from behind you.

Rei.

Fists clenched tight, with packed, wet sand grating against palm and fingers as you fight to stay conscious, fight to move into an upright position once more, another groan is let out that causes you to freeze in place.

"N-n-na… S-s-so--" and now it sounds like sobbing.

The wind is still fierce, the rain still falling, but you can make out the attempts of an apology that are now whisper quiet. It's hard to listen to, hard to tamp down the well of agitation that wants to rise up and lash out. He _should_ be sorry. He _should_ be scared. What was he _thinking_?

You look over your shoulder toward the figure behind you. He's no longer laying on the sand, slumped sideways where you left him, just in case he had breathed in any water, which means he's probably okay and not seriously injured, and that you'll likely be able to get in one really good punch after you gather some strength without hurting him too much. You notice now that his knees are drawn up, face buried into the arms that rest atop them, hiding. The both of you continue to be pummeled by rain, the storm refusing to let up, though that's still not enough to cover the hiccough between sobs or mask the tears as they fall past the shield of his arms and off of his cheek.

Even when faced with the sight of him, his torment and pain obvious--you could see that much, in the way his fingers gripped his elbows or the way his body shook, without the flash and crack of lightning in the distance to show you--you can't yet find it in you to go easy on him. There's too much you're feeling, too much you want to say…too much you could have lost. Instead, you push back the monster--the agitation, the concern, the hurt, the anger--just push it as far down and back as it can go, and you school your features into something presentable. As long as it doesn't betray your truth, you'll be able to face him.

"Rei." Your voice sounds calm, though not very strong and you worry he doesn't hear you. No reply comes, no sense that he even knows you're behind him now.

You have no faith that your voice will reach him where he's at, seemingly locked away inside whatever he's thinking and feeling. The monster beats at the walls of its cage, growing more uneasy as you reflect on what you both went through, guessing the who and why behind how it happened. It wants to lash out at him--lash out and scream at him, beat and punish and rip into him so he knows to never do anything like that again, to never do more than he is capable of without you by his side.

He just needs to never not be by your side. How will you be able to live if he isn't?

Schooled features, measured breathing, you have to think about what's happening _now_ , where you are _now_ ; there will be time for dealing with him later. You just need to focus and reach him--reach out to him--so that you can make sure he's safe. Just reach out.

Just reach--

Just--

You didn't know another person's skin could be that cold. Despite the light, brief contact, the chill sends a shudder down your spine, your brow furrowing in response out of concern and from something so alien to you. He's alive, so he should be warm. Your Rei, despite what some might expect, is always warm.

"Rei." Some part of what you felt must have sounded in your voice; he hears you this time. You're confident that he does because the body that didn't respond to the feather light touch a moment ago is now completely still. No shaking, no sobbing. No movement at all. Completely still. You try not to panic.

"Rei," and you reach out, telling yourself not to shrink away from him or the cold. You thread your fingers into the hair that's plastered against the back of his head. He leans into your touch, a reflex, the shift weighing against your fingers, and you catch yourself recalling shared memories, warmer moments.

That's right; this sensation, those feelings… yeah, it's okay. He's okay. That's all you need.

There's nothing left in you to fight back. Without meaning to, that single act of his reminded you of what's important, of what's before you. You allow yourself a small smile, a few lazy strokes from your ring and pinky fingers along the line of his neck--it's habit, one you've grown to use when comforting him, maybe to comfort yourself as well.

He tilts his head up toward you without actually looking you in the eyes, careful to not leave your touch. It's enough.

"Let's find some shelter and rest." You start to stand, still not strong enough to really support yourself but strong enough to do at least this much for him.

"Rei," you say again, hoping for acknowledgment or some sign that he understood. You still your fingers, slipping them from the locks they played with, only to find your hand now gripped in one of his own.

The hold he has it tight, frighteningly so, and when you look to him for an answer, all you see is fear and gut-wrenching sadness reflected back from the pools of his eyes, causing your own to widen in response before closing against the sight of him panicking.

"It's okay," you say, eyes still closed, wishing your voice was stronger, wasn't shaking. "It's okay, Rei, because I've got you. I'm right here."

You open your eyes to look down upon the face you've been captivated by since the first time you caught sight of him; the person behind the haughty laughs and confidence; the person who strives for beauty even though he's most beautiful when no effort is made, simply the rawest version of himself in front of you. You look down at the face, into the eyes, and hope you're able to reach through the damage of panic and shame and pain to his heart.

With the first real smile you've been able to give him since dragging yourselves from the frenzy of the ocean, you reach your hand out and wait.


End file.
